Movie Review: ‘How I Dumped My Ex-Boyfriend’s Body’

By Stacey Longo

 

How I Dumped My Ex-Boyfriend’s Body (2014) is a fun indie movie full of humor, buddy antics, and little people. (Okay, only one little person, but he steals every scene he’s in.) This low-budget flick is worth every minute of your time.

Maxine (Meredith Phillips) calls her BFF Shae (Vanessa Leigh) at an ungodly hour to beg her for help. Shae rushes to her best friend’s house, and finds Maxine sitting on the kitchen floor, distraught. It turns out Maxine has murdered her own boyfriend in the midst of a lover’s quarrel. Oops!

Shae is upset, of course—Maxine hit the guy over the head with a vase Shae gave her years ago, and now it’s broken. Maxine is more concerned with what to do with the body. The duo tries to take care of the problem themselves: they dig a hole in the back yard (until a nosy neighbor asks what they’re doing, to which Shae hastily responds “making porn”). They take the corpse for a ride, only to get pulled over by a bicycle cop (a scene in which Phillips will have you laughing so hard you’ll need to take a potty break). Eventually, they decide to talk to Shae’s cousin Mikey (Ed Gutierrez), a wanna-be gangster who sends them to Tony (Josh Pineo), who of course would be happy to get rid of the body. It’s only after Tony—a mobbed-up little person in a wheelchair, who conveys an impeccable “you don’t want to screw with me” attitude that would make Joe Pesci envious—disposes of the corpse that he then informs them of the price tag: $10,000. Now the ladies and Shae’s bumbling boyfriend, who has now somehow gotten roped into this misadventure to emphasize the strong bonds of friendship between the two girls that no man can break—in other words, “chicks before dicks”—must raise the money, fast. The ladies’ misadventures continue as they try their hands as muggers (and fail spectacularly), then explain in side-splitting detail to cousin Mikey why, exactly, they don’t want Tony to come back and turn them into sex slaves. Eventually, there is a hilarious climax and reveal that I won’t spoil for you. Suffice to say this movie was silly, funny, and a little bit sick.

Phillips and Pineo were the clear standouts in this gem of a B-movie. Phillips was unapologetically inelegant and fantastically funny. Her comedic timing and can’t-help-but-like-her attitude were fabulous. Pineo’s performance was baleful and belligerent—not for one moment did the audience think he couldn’t put some serious hurt on our two leading ladies, dwarf in a wheelchair or no. The rest of the cast played their parts well, and I laughed out loud through several scenes. If you have eighty minutes to kill and you’re looking for a good time, How I Dumped My Ex-Boyfriend’s Body is the perfect answer.

Movie Review: ‘Zombeavers’

By Stacey Longo

Zombeavers

Zombeavers (2014) is the perfect example of how to do B-movie horror right. Funny, action-packed, and full of ridiculous special effects, this might be my new favorite movie. I’m going to try to review it without spoilers, if only because this movie should be unwrapped and enjoyed thoroughly by the viewer, like a Willy Wonka golden-ticket-wrapped chocolate bar, only with zombie beavers.

The flick opens with two guys in a truck carrying hazardous waste. They hit a deer, losing a barrel of toxic goo in the process. The dialogue here sets the standard for the rest of the movie.

        Trucker #1 (after checking on the deer): “He’s not gonna make it.”

        Trucker #2: “Eh. They carry disease. Well, up and over!”

They continue on, driving over the deer corpse, unaware that toxic waste is now leaking at a nearby beaver dam.

Next, we meet three sorority sisters, Zoe (the token tramp), Jenn (the token blonde), and Mary (the token brain). Jenn’s boyfriend Sam has cheated on her, and the girls are spending the weekend at Mary’s cousin’s cabin to help Jenn get over her heartbreak. Zoe and Jenn are dismayed to find that there is only one bathroom at the cabin for three women. Also, there is no cell phone service.

       Mary: “There’s, like, a landline.”

Zoe: “A what?”

The girls go sunbathing, which allows for the obligatory topless shot that is essential to any well-done B-horror show. They decide to swim out to the beaver dam that they spot on the other side of the lake, where a bear surprises them. Uh-oh. The girls might be done for! Nah. In the nick of time, a hunter named Smyth (Rex Linn) shows up and scares the bear away with a gunshot. He then asks the girls what they’re doing.

      Jenn: “We were looking for beavers.”

Smyth” Well, ain’t we all?”

The girls are later surprised when their boyfriends, Buck, Tommy, and the two-timing Sam, show up. While everyone else is shacked up in their respective bedrooms having fun, Jenn confronts Sam with a picture she saw on Facebook of him making out with a brunette. He won’t tell her who it is, and she won’t forgive him. She goes off to take a bath, only to find a zombeaver in the tub. After Tommy smashes it with a baseball bat, they all decide the animal must have been rabid. They would be wrong.

The next day, everyone decides to go swimming, as you do after finding a possibly rabid beaver in your tub. We do find out at this point who the brunette is that Sam cheated on, but this is quickly glossed over when the zombeavers move in. All but Jenn wind up on the raft, but not before Buck, Zoe’s boyfriend, is attacked. One of the highlights of this movie is when a terrified Buck holds up his own dismembered foot, one of many, many things you don’t often see in movies these days. That and zombie beavers … but I digress.

Our heroes are trapped on the raft. Sam grab’s Zoe’s dog (did I forget to mention she brought her dog? She did) and throws it in the lake as a diversion. You know that unwritten rule in horror movies where it’s okay to brutally dismember people, but animals should never, ever be injured? Happily, in Zombeavers, this rule is gleefully ignored.

From this point forward, the movie is a smorgasbord of zombeaver attacks, horrible deaths, and near escapes. There’s a scene in the house reminiscent of a Whack-a-Mole game that will make you forget to root for the heroes, because you’ll be too busy giggling.

I cannot recommend this movie enough. It’s hilarious, entertaining, and full of beaver jokes. There were no slackers in the cast, though Rex Linn, probably best known for his role as Detective Frank Tripp on CSI: Miami, steals the show as the deadpan, no-nonsense Smyth, who quietly munches on a chicken leg while examining Buck’s dismembered foot. And you won’t want to miss the ending credits—there’s a gag reel, and a fabulous Tony Bennett-esque theme song performed by Nick Amado that you won’t want to miss.

Is this movie a thoughtful introspective on aesthetic principles and style? No. But it’s a heck of a lot of fun!

Editor’s Note:

You can pick up your own copy from Amazon here or on iTunes here.

Book Review: “VWars: Blood and Fire”

 

By Stacey Longo

V_Wars_Blood_and_Fire

VWars: Blood and Fire is the second installment in the VWars series, edited and co-authored by New York Times bestselling author Jonathan Maberry, featuring such talented writers as Kevin J. Anderson, Larry Correia, Joe McKinney, James A. Moore, Yvonne Navarro, Weston Ochse, and Scott Sigler. The book is set up in a manner reminiscent of World War Z, in which the reader is treated to snippets of the escalating battle between the “Beats” (humans) and the “Bloods” (vampires). No need to worry if you haven’t read the first one (though I do recommend the first installment): the anthology is character-driven, engaging, and sucks the reader in from the first page.

Maberry leads off with “Apocalypse Tango” (broken up into seven parts and interspersed between other stories, as many of the tales in this book are), which introduces us to Luther Swann, an important figure throughout this book. This story maps out what’s going on—families are getting slaughtered, tensions are escalating, and Swann is unable to prevent what appears to be another war against the vampires.

“The Enemy Within” is a solid entry from Yvonne Navarro, who introduces us to Mooney, a vampire uncomfortable with her new status. She becomes immersed in local vamp infighting. Mooney is an intriguing character, and this story will have you hoping that Mooney gets her own novel someday.

Joe McKinney introduces us to thirteen-year-old Ernesto in “Tenochtitlan Will Rise,” showcasing yet another facet of the developing tensions. Through Ernesto, who is just trying to take care of his grandfather, we see how closely war can hit home.

“War Torn,” the piece from James A. Moore, creates an engaging voice in Johnny Lei. Lei is empathetic, and you’ll find yourself rooting for the misunderstood vampire, until he reminds you that first and foremost, he is a predator.

“Suicide Games,” also by Maberry, lets us know that there’s more to fear in this war than just vampires and humans.

Next up is “Solitude” by Kevin J. Anderson, a standalone piece about a veteran of Afghanistan who just wants to be left alone. It’s intriguing and haunting.

Maberry pops back in with “Let God Sort ’Em Out,” in which we’re treated to battle scenes, the internal struggle that our old friend Swann continues to deal with, and the introduction of a dynamic new character, Big Dog.

“Manifest Destiny” is Weston Ochse’s contribution, and showcases the cruelty and destruction of which both man and vampire are capable. Underlying in this piece is a cynical commentary on role the media plays in life-or-death situations.

Larry Correia gives us “Force Multiplier,” another standalone story, this one about the far-reaching destruction the war has wrought.

Scott Sigler is up next with “The Hippo,” a fascinating piece about a serial killer hunting amid the vampire wars. This was probably my favorite story in the book—it finally let the reader get a glimpse of reporter Yuki Nitobe, who is mentioned in several other pieces, plus, it reminds the reader that not all of the monsters in this book are vampires. Humans are capable of some pretty awful things, too.

“La Belle Dame Sans Merci” shows some behind-the-scenes negotiations between Swann and the Crimson Queen, in which we learn that neither side, really, wants this war.

Finally, Maberry concludes with “Monsters in the Dark,” a brilliant character portrait of a vampire that is intriguing, opens up new questions, and leaves the reader wanting more.

Overall, VWars: Blood & Fire showcased some fabulous writers, kept me turning the pages, and got me excited about the next collection. VWars: Blood & Fire is available in bookstores and on Amazon here.

Movie Review: ‘The House Across the Street’

By Stacey Longo

Jessica Sonneborn in The House Across the Street.

Jessica Sonneborn in The House Across the Street.

In The House Across the Street (2013, Eyethfilms) Amy Fielder (Jessica Sonneborn) has just moved from Kansas, and rents an apartment from Tom (Ethan Embry), a creepy landlord whose over-eagerness to rent to her should have made Amy think twice from the get-go. Amy finds herself fascinated by the house across the street, and watches the goings-on over there cautiously and voraciously. She also starts meeting some of her neighbors, none who seem too eager to give her any information about the house that fascinates her so.

The neighborhood where Amy now lives must be the friendliest in New England, because Mr. Barnes (Alex Rocco) keeps insisting she come over for lunch, and Ned (Courtney Gains, who still evokes memories of Malachai from Children of the Corn even as he approaches middle age) invites her to her home and offers to bring her food. The only people who aren’t friendly are the cops—after Amy finds a woman laying in the road, Officer Peterson (Eric Roberts) warns her not to make trouble, and Amy is subsequently pulled over by the police three more times. The only person who seems willing to help is Kyle, an officer who is also fairly new to town. But the message Amy continues to get from both cops and neighbors is the same: leave well enough alone.

Apparently, this isn’t in Amy’s nature, because after snooping around town hall and getting sideswiped by a car for her efforts, she decides to check out the house across the street for herself. Now on crutches, she hobbles from room to room until she finds Daisy (Sara Murphy), the daughter of the woman who was lying in the road earlier. Daisy is drugged and weak, but Amy manages to get her out of the house and hides her away in her own place across the street.

The movie moves rapidly at this point, as Amy starts to piece together the clues and figures out what’s been going on at the house across the street and who is involved. It turns out that Amy can trust nobody, and her world and new friendships start falling apart as we head to our violent and bittersweet conclusion.

The House Across the Street boasts a dynamic, talented cast that doesn’t disappoint. Roberts is completely at home in his role of small-town officer walking that thin line between keeping citizens in line and protecting the people in his town. Alex Rocco is brilliant (as always) as the forgetful, bumbling Mr. Barnes, and stole every scene in which he appeared. Courtney Gains, Ethan Embry, and Josh Hammond were also notable in the film. The movie was entertaining, though it did drag in places, and the scriptwriters missed a golden opportunity to add the twist of unreliable narration when Amy ran out of antipsychotic medication. Some of the methods in which Amy figured out the truth seemed contrived, yet others were pretty clever. Overall, The House Across the Street was slow, suspenseful, and disturbing—all good things.

Check out the movie’s website here.

Movie Review: ‘Thankskilling’

 

by Stacey Longo

thankskilling

Thankskilling (2009) is a delightful testament to everything that can go right in a cheap B-horror film. The plot: a legendary bloodthirsty turkey murders college kids, one by one, over Thanksgiving break. Sounds marvelous, right? It is!

Ali, Kristen, Johnny, Billy, and Darren (or, in genre terms, the slut, the good girl, the jock, the fat funny kid, and the geek) are on their way home for the holiday break when their car overheats. They decide to pitch tents for the night and Darren tells a scary campfire story about a homicidal turkey. He thinks he’s making it up, but it turns out this legend is true: Turkie soon appears on the scene, leaving a gory trail of dog innards and turkey turds in his wake.

It turns out that Turkie returns every two-hundred-and-something years to exact vengeance on the town that slaughtered his brethren for that first Thanksgiving meal. The teenagers involved might be related to some of the pilgrims—or not; it was a plot point that disappeared as quickly as it popped up. Regardless, Turkie is on the prowl, and nobody’s safe.

Turkie’s one-liners and laughable disguises as he hunts down the group of friends will make you laugh so hard, gravy will shoot out your nose. There’s one scene in which Turkie, dressed as a human (wearing a ridiculous pair of sunglasses complete with plastic mustache that will make you giggle just looking at it) has coffee with Kristen’s father (dressed as a turkey) that is just as awkward and bizarre as you’d expect from a movie about a killer turkey. After Ali meets an untimely end, the gang heads to Kristen’s house because, as she says, “My dad has a huge collection of books. I’m sure he has something on killer turkeys.” (As would any decent private library, of course. Don’t we all have books on fowl lore and legend on our shelves?) Her father greets her at the door, but wait—is it really her father, or a turkey wearing her father’s face as a mask?

“You look different,” Kristen tells her father, squinting suspiciously at him.

“Err . . . I got a haircut,” Turkie says, and the group buys this excuse without thinking twice. Fabulous.

The kids start going through all of the books in the hope that they can find out how to defeat the killer bird. There’s a delightful scene in which the brainy kid teaches the porky kid how to read, and the looks on their faces as they overact this sequence is worth every moment of your life that you’ve wasted watching this movie. The book-cramming pays off, of course, when they find an ancient ritual that seems to be the answer to all of their problems.

To fight the evil curse of Turkie, the gang must chant specific words and perform convoluted rituals, which they predictably get wrong. You won’t be upset, though—Turkie, despite being the antagonist in this film, is undeniably the most likeable character, and you’ll be rooting for him and hoping for a sequel. Your hopes will be fulfilled, but that’s a review for another day.

Full of juvenile humor, occasional frontal nudity, and cringe-worthy puns, Thankskilling is a must-watch film for any B-horror fan.

Movie Review: ‘Throg’

By Stacey Longo

Throg

I can promise you you’ve never seen anything quite like Throg (2004), a medieval dark comedy about an idiot who is destined to travel through time for the mere entertainment of a bunch of bored gods on Mount Olympus. Our hero, Throg himself, is a numbskull, yet he still seems to come out on top, despite the havoc that his bumbling ways wreaks.

We first meet Throg (Dana K. Lee) in a mental hospital, where he’s being tortured by Dr. Braun (Stephanie Hughes) and her demented henchman, Billy (Wayne Woodbury). Hughes showcases her stupendous overacting abilities in this role, causing one person who was watching the screening with me to whisper, “I don’t understand. Why didn’t Divine get top billing?” She’s a delight as the twisted tormenter, and makes Nurse Ratched look like a pussycat in comparison. Throg’s treatment at the mental hospital leads to a series of flashbacks, over which the major plot points of this fine film unfold.

We see Throg as a young man, at the moment when his adoptive parents abandon him. Before leaving Throg, his father (Throg the Elder, played by Dale T. Phillips) experiences a moment of tenderness. “Take this,” he says, handing his son a large stone. “It’s the rock we found you under.” This rock becomes a running gag and plot device throughout the movie.

The audience is then treated to a scene atop Mount Olympus, in which the gods decide, for fun, to each choose an avatar on Earth to represent them, and fight to the death. (Which, I’m sure, you and your friends do for giggles all the time.) There’s also a fool hanging out on Mount Olympus (missing from my Greek mythology studies, but hey, I’ll go with it in the interest of fine cinema), and he decides to insert himself into the game for his own amusement. The last avatar left alive wins (or, more accurately, the god that picked him wins). The avatars die horrific deaths one by one, until all that remain are Ares’ choice, Urshag the Destroyer, and the Fool’s avatar. That’s right: it’s poor, hapless Throg.

Over the course of the flashbacks, the audience watches Urshag pursue Throg through centuries of time, where it’s determined that Throg is neither a hero nor passably competent, but remarkably lucky. But his luck can’t hold out forever, and the Fool appears on Earth to help Throg hone his battle skills. What follows is a sidesplitting dance/music montage that makes every minute of this movie that you sat through up until this point completely worth it. Matt Power’s (who also directed, as Matthew T. Power?)  performance as the Fool is fabulously campy, and this sequence ranks up there with some of the finest Monty Python skits in its goofiness.

In the meantime, Urshag has a series of entertaining near misses in his quest to kill Throg. The flashbacks end as we see Throg’s admittance into the asylum. It turns out that when he’s confined to the mental hospital, Urshag can’t find him. This creates a bit of a quandary for the great destroyer, who finds that he’s losing his evil powers because he can’t find Throg. What’s a bad guy to do? He winds up responding to an infomercial for a complete makeover, and recreates himself as a hideous demonic clown.

While Urshag is discovering his inner John Wayne Gacy, Throg manages to escape the mental hospital, and after a “groundbreaking” (that’s the same as “bizarre,” right?) animation sequence, finds himself in modern times, working at White Meat Castle. That’s where Urshag finds him for their ultimate showdown. Action, gore, and hilarity abound as Throg and Urshag duel in a final light saber fight, which (spoiler alert!) one of them wins, quite by accident.

The movie pays homage to a wide range of cultural icons. In addition to Monty Python, you’ll spot nods to Xena: Warrior Princess, Highlander, Excalibur, and The Rocky Horror Picture Show, among many, many others. (You’ll find yourself shouting out movie references frequently throughout the film. “Better Off Dead! “Empire Strikes Back!” I’m sure there’s a drinking game to be found in there somewhere.) In the interest of full disclosure, I should tell you that I’m acquainted with Phillips, so I might be biased, but honestly, his performance as Throg the Elder is one of the best in the film. He channels his inner Shatner, delivering witty lines with such gusto that you’ll laugh out loud.

Throg actually won Best Cinematography at the 2004 Boston International Film Festival, so obviously, I’m not the only person who loved this thing. Absurd, hilarious, and silly, I can’t recommend Throg enough. It’s available now to rent or buy on Amazon. This low-budget horror/comedy/fantasy flick is absolutely worth an hour and a half of your life.


 Editor’s Note:

An interview with Throg director Matthew T. Power is here.

 

Movie Review: ‘FDR: American Badass (2012)’

 

by Stacey Longo

FDR-american-badass1

Raunchy, politically incorrect, and hilariously ridiculous, FDR: American Badass (2012) is my favorite B-movie find this year. Barry Bostwick is indignantly absurd as the title character, who, in this historical version, contracts polio after being bitten by a werewolf.  He goes on to win the presidential election, and finds he faces a much bigger threat: Naziwerewolves. FDR approaches this new problem with the same aplomb that he showed by getting the country out of the Depression: by ending Prohibition (to gain popularity and support) and going to war.

The jokes come every other line, and are offensive and disgusting. Never have I laughed so hard at a sight gag involving a vase and a bowel movement. Nobody is safe: polio victims, women, Southerners, lesbians, African-Americans . . . every race, creed, and nationality are skewered in this movie.  While sharing a joint in the oval office, FDR and Abraham Lincoln (played by Kevin Sorbo, far off the path from his Hercules days) make jokes about people in wheelchairs, plays that end badly for presidents, and interracial sex. Have you ever wanted to hear Eleanor Roosevelt drop the f-bomb? Then this is exactly the movie for you.

FDR himself personally flies a fighter plane into war to kill Mussolini and Hitler. Winston Churchill mans the radio tower, telling FDR “If I wasn’t drunk and blind, I’d be up there with you right now.” It’s an explosive finish, and the president’s fate is uncertain, causing Eleanor to drop an s-bomb and even a g-d-bomb as she waits for word of her husband. I won’t spoil the end for you, but suffice to say, FDR lives up to the title’s moniker.

If you offend easily, don’t like jokes about people’s private parts, feces, racism, sexism, every other possible kind of -ism, and overall don’t find juvenile humor funny, then you may want to skip this one. But if the line “Hoover was all right. I’m sure they’ll name a dam or a vacuum cleaner after him someday” strikes you as uproarious, FDR: American Badass is right up your alley.

Movie Review: ‘Man with the Screaming Brain’

 

By Stacey Longo

man-with-the-screaming-brain-original

If you’re a big Bruce Campbell fan like me, you’ll probably be tempted to watch Man with the Screaming Brain (2005).  Written and directed by and starring Campbell, it sounds like a safe bet. I mean, Bubba Ho Tep  was funny, right?

Let me gently remind you that nobody can be funny ALL of the time. And for the first thirty minutes of this movie, you will find yourself thinking this very same thought several hundred times.

Campbell plays William Cole, a shady corporate industrialist traveling in Bulgaria to set up a tax scam. He’s traveling with his wife Jackie Cole, played stiltingly by Antoinette Byron, who might be wearing that hideous blond wig in the hopes that nobody will recognize her in this stinker.

Bruce Campbell is trying too hard to play the obnoxious American, and the result is boring and unfunny at the start. The banter between Campbell, Byron, and Russian cab driver Yegor (played by Vladimir Kolev) is forced and hokey. The relief comes when a mysterious Gypsy woman murders the three of them, but it takes much too long to get to this major plot point.

Good news for the Coles and Yegor: there’s a mad scientist in the neighborhood looking for hapless victims to conduct experiments on. Said scientist transplants Yegor’s brain in to William Cole’s body, presumably with the expectation that hilarity will ensue. We are treated to ten minutes of Cole and Yegor battling for control of Cole’s body, until they realize they were both murdered by the same woman, and decide to work together to hunt her down. In the meantime, Jackie Cole’s brain is transplanted in to a robot. I wish I could tell you I was making this sucky plot up, but sadly, this is really what the movie is about. My heart breaks for all of the Campbell fans out there who will try to stab out their own eyeballs with knitting needles in an effort to stop watching this crapfest.

The highlight of this movie is Ted Raimi, who plays the mad scientist’s assistant, Pavel. It’ll warm your heart to see that he’s still finding work, and that he isn’t the worst thing about this movie (that honor goes to the Jackie robot, which malfunctions much easier than any terminator I’ve ever seen in the movies, and at the worst possible times).  Raimi is—dare I say it?—actually kind of entertaining in this role, and helps make the film almost bearable. Almost.

Overall, this movie reminded me of a hilarious comedy with Lily Tomlin and Steve Martin battling for control of a body that I saw once. Only All of Me (1984) was funny. Man with the Screaming Brain, with the standout exception of Ted Raimi, is not.

Movie Review: ‘Rubber’

 

By Stacey Longo

Rubber

Terror unfolds as Rubber (2010) rolls across the land. This movie about a killer tire (yes, you read that right) is silly, nonsensical, slow at points and a little ridiculous, but definitely worth 85 minutes of your life.

Robert, a Goodyear tire abandoned in the desert, discovers he has telepathic powers, which he uses to destroy all who cross his path. (Kudos to the director of this movie, Quentin Dupieux, for actually pulling off showing a tire discovering his psychic abilities, which was no easy feat.) The tire soon runs across a beautiful woman with a sexy accent, and becomes obsessed with her. As the tire’s adventure unfolds, the audience gets a play-by-play of the action by a group of bystanders who are also watching the tire’s antics. Of note in this cast is Wings Hauser, as a wheelchair-bound veteran who stoically sticks through the tire’s trail of terror to the bitter end.

Rubber drags at times, particularly as the tire slowly (oh-so-slowly) discovers he can move on his own and blow up people’s heads telepathically. Stick with it, though, for the movie is aware of its own preposterous premise, and is full of remarks about how silly the whole idea of a killer tire really is. Lieutenant Chad, portrayed by Stephen Spinella (Milk, 2008) sets the movie’s pointless plot up at the very beginning: “In Oliver Stone’s JFK, why is the President suddenly assassinated by some stranger? No reason.” Indeed, there seems to be no reason for the tire’s aimless murder spree, but since the viewer is made aware of this from the start, what follows is a funny little film that can be enjoyed without having to think too hard.

There are other, funnier B-horror flicks out there with better plots, but this one has a cult following for a reason. Absurd, outrageous, and sometimes silly, Rubber will ensure that you never look at a blown-out tire on the side of the road quite in the same way again.

Godzilla is Back on the Big Screen and Bigger than Ever

 

By Jason Harrisgodzilla-attacks-golden-gate

During the opening credits of Godzilla, the audience learns that the government never “tested” atomic bombs, as was widely believed. The sole reason why atomic bombs were detonated during that time period was to try and destroy the King of the Monsters. After the opening credits, the audience learns that it’s 1999 and there is a dig going on in the Philippines where something big is discovered. Is it Godzilla? Well, there is a huge skeleton plus something is dormant. There is also something that was awakened and got away.

The movie then goes from the Philippines to Japan where we are introduced to the Brody family: Joe (Bryan Cranston), Sandra (Juliette Binoche), and Ford (Aaron Taylor-Johnson). It’s Joe’s birthday, but he’s so busy with his job that he’s up earlier than normal, which causes Ford not to be able to hang his dad’s birthday banner that he has made. Joe is working at a nuclear power plant that is being affected by tremors. And the audience already knows, these are not naturally occurring tremors.

Taylor-Johnson, the secondary star of the movie after Godzilla, wasn’t recognizable with his shaved head. I didn’t realize I had seen him in such movies as Kick-Ass, Savages, and one of the after-credit scenes in Captain America 2: Winter Soldier, portraying Quicksilver.

Director Gareth Edwards has brought audiences the Godzilla movie that audiences have been waiting for since the disappointment of the 1998 version. He keeps the movie interesting and has us anticipating the appearance of Godzilla. He teases the audience with bits and pieces of him throughout the movie, until finally revealing Godzilla in his full glory near the end when he is battling the MUTO, giant insect parasites.

At the end this movie, audiences will be satisfied, exhilarated, and looking forward to his next appearance. Hopefully, Edwards will be helming it.

This movie gets five out of five stars.