Movie Review: ‘Rubber’

 

By Stacey Longo

Rubber

Terror unfolds as Rubber (2010) rolls across the land. This movie about a killer tire (yes, you read that right) is silly, nonsensical, slow at points and a little ridiculous, but definitely worth 85 minutes of your life.

Robert, a Goodyear tire abandoned in the desert, discovers he has telepathic powers, which he uses to destroy all who cross his path. (Kudos to the director of this movie, Quentin Dupieux, for actually pulling off showing a tire discovering his psychic abilities, which was no easy feat.) The tire soon runs across a beautiful woman with a sexy accent, and becomes obsessed with her. As the tire’s adventure unfolds, the audience gets a play-by-play of the action by a group of bystanders who are also watching the tire’s antics. Of note in this cast is Wings Hauser, as a wheelchair-bound veteran who stoically sticks through the tire’s trail of terror to the bitter end.

Rubber drags at times, particularly as the tire slowly (oh-so-slowly) discovers he can move on his own and blow up people’s heads telepathically. Stick with it, though, for the movie is aware of its own preposterous premise, and is full of remarks about how silly the whole idea of a killer tire really is. Lieutenant Chad, portrayed by Stephen Spinella (Milk, 2008) sets the movie’s pointless plot up at the very beginning: “In Oliver Stone’s JFK, why is the President suddenly assassinated by some stranger? No reason.” Indeed, there seems to be no reason for the tire’s aimless murder spree, but since the viewer is made aware of this from the start, what follows is a funny little film that can be enjoyed without having to think too hard.

There are other, funnier B-horror flicks out there with better plots, but this one has a cult following for a reason. Absurd, outrageous, and sometimes silly, Rubber will ensure that you never look at a blown-out tire on the side of the road quite in the same way again.

Godzilla is Back on the Big Screen and Bigger than Ever

 

By Jason Harrisgodzilla-attacks-golden-gate

During the opening credits of Godzilla, the audience learns that the government never “tested” atomic bombs, as was widely believed. The sole reason why atomic bombs were detonated during that time period was to try and destroy the King of the Monsters. After the opening credits, the audience learns that it’s 1999 and there is a dig going on in the Philippines where something big is discovered. Is it Godzilla? Well, there is a huge skeleton plus something is dormant. There is also something that was awakened and got away.

The movie then goes from the Philippines to Japan where we are introduced to the Brody family: Joe (Bryan Cranston), Sandra (Juliette Binoche), and Ford (Aaron Taylor-Johnson). It’s Joe’s birthday, but he’s so busy with his job that he’s up earlier than normal, which causes Ford not to be able to hang his dad’s birthday banner that he has made. Joe is working at a nuclear power plant that is being affected by tremors. And the audience already knows, these are not naturally occurring tremors.

Taylor-Johnson, the secondary star of the movie after Godzilla, wasn’t recognizable with his shaved head. I didn’t realize I had seen him in such movies as Kick-Ass, Savages, and one of the after-credit scenes in Captain America 2: Winter Soldier, portraying Quicksilver.

Director Gareth Edwards has brought audiences the Godzilla movie that audiences have been waiting for since the disappointment of the 1998 version. He keeps the movie interesting and has us anticipating the appearance of Godzilla. He teases the audience with bits and pieces of him throughout the movie, until finally revealing Godzilla in his full glory near the end when he is battling the MUTO, giant insect parasites.

At the end this movie, audiences will be satisfied, exhilarated, and looking forward to his next appearance. Hopefully, Edwards will be helming it.

This movie gets five out of five stars.

Three ‘Edge of Tomorrow’ Premieres

 

 

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TOM CRUISE AND EMILY BLUNT CHASE TOMORROW RIGHT TO THE EDGE: THREE PREMIERES / THREE COUNTRIES / ONE DAY

Stars race against time to meet fans in London, Paris and New York on an unprecedented Red Carpet Repeat tour

On May 28, the stars of Edge of Tomorrow will take part in a groundbreaking worldwide event when, for the first time ever, three fan premieres will be held in three different countries in just one day, “resetting” the red carpet as Tom Cruise and Emily Blunt race the clock to make each event before time runs out.

In Edge of Tomorrow, Cruise’s character relives the events of one day over and over in an epic battle to save the world.  The story begins as he arrives in London, making that city the perfect place to kick off this global event.  All times are local:

·        7:00 a.m. inaugural premiere kicks off on the carpet in London, with a 9:00 a.m. screening.

The film takes both characters to France, where they face off against an insurmountable army of alien invaders.

·        2:00 p.m. red carpet in Paris, screening at 4:00 p.m.

The final premiere will take the stars back to the U.S.

·        10:00 p.m. red carpet in New York City, with the final screening—on the edge of tomorrow—at 11:59 p.m.

Between cities, Cruise, Blunt and the film’s director, Doug Liman, will interact with fans via social media as they jet from country to country.  A contingent of select press will travel to each premiere, covering the events as they unfold.

There will be live stream components for each of the three events.  Those fans on the ground can network via social media using #EOTLive.

Oscar nominee Tom Cruise and Emily Blunt star in Warner Bros. Pictures’ and Village Roadshow Pictures’ sci-fi thriller Edge of Tomorrow, under the direction of Doug Liman.

The epic action of Edge of Tomorrow unfolds in a near future in which an alien race has hit the Earth in an unrelenting assault, unbeatable by any military unit in the world.

Major William Cage (Cruise) is an officer who has never seen a day of combat when he is unceremoniously dropped into what amounts to a suicide mission.  Killed within minutes, Cage now finds himself inexplicably thrown into a time loop—forcing him to live out the same brutal combat over and over, fighting and dying again…and again.

But with each battle, Cage becomes able to engage the adversaries with increasing skill, alongside Special Forces warrior Rita Vrataski (Blunt).  And, as Cage and Rita take the fight to the aliens, each repeated encounter gets them one step closer to defeating the enemy.

The international cast also includes Bill Paxton, Brendan Gleeson, Noah Taylor, Kick Gurry, Dragomir Mrsic, Charlotte Riley, Jonas Armstrong, Franz Drameh, Masayoshi Haneda and Tony Way.

Liman directed Edge of Tomorrow from a screenplay by Christopher McQuarrie and Jez Butterworth & John-Henry Butterworth, based on the novel entitled All You Need is Kill by Hiroshi Sakurazaka.  Erwin Stoff produced, along with Tom Lassally, Jeffrey Silver, Gregory Jacobs and Jason Hoffs.  The executive producers are Doug Liman, David Bartis, Joby Harold, Hidemi Fukuhara and Bruce Berman, with Tim Lewis and Kim Winther serving as co-producers.

Warner Bros. Pictures presents, in association with Village Roadshow Pictures, a 3 Arts Production, in association with Viz Productions, a Doug Liman Film, Edge of Tomorrow.  Opening domestically on June 6, the film will be distributed in 2D and 3D in select theatres and IMAX by Warner Bros. Pictures, a Warner Bros. Entertainment Company, and in select territories by Village Roadshow.

This movie has been rated PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi action and violence, language and brief suggestive material.

edgeoftomorrowmovie.com

 

‘The Nut Job’ Arrives on DVD April 15

 

 
GO NUTS FOR THE FAMILY MOVIE EVENT OF THE SEASON!
THE NUT JOB
 
BE THE FIRST TO OWN IT ON DIGITAL HD ON APRIL 8
 
AND BRING HOME THE BLU-RAY COMBO PACK
INCLUDING BLU-RAY, DVD & DIGITAL HD WITH ULTRAVIOLET APRIL 15
 
NOW MOVIE FANS CAN WATCH THE NUT JOB ANYWHERE ON THEIR FAVORITE DEVICESCyan Magenta Yellow Black
Be prepared for one squirrelly adventure in the action-packed comedy, The Nut Job, starring Will Arnett (Despicable Me, Ratatouille) as Surly, a mischievous squirrel on a mission to prove himself. The Nut Job comes to Blu-ray 3D and Blu-ray Combo Pack including Blu-ray, DVD, & DIGITAL HD with UltraViolet as well as On Demand on April 15, from Universal Studios Home Entertainment. The film will also be available on DIGITAL HD one week early on April 8.
Surly (Arnett) is a mischievous squirrel with a mission: to find the tastiest nuts for winter. When he discovers a whole store filled with his favorite food, he plans a heist of nutrageous proportions. But the place turns out to be owned by ruthless bank robbers so it’s up to Surly and his furry friends to stop the nearby bank heist and save the town.
Showcasing an all-star cast including Brendan Fraser (The Mummy, Whole Lotta Love), Liam Neeson (Non-StopThe Grey), Katherine Heigl (Knocked UpThe Ugly Truth), Maya Rudolph (Bridesmaids, Turbo), Jeff Dunham (Arguing With MyselfSpark of Insanity) and Gabriel Iglesias (Magic Mike, Hot & Fluffy), The Nut Job will prove “Enormously Entertaining” for the whole family (Avi Offer, NYC Movie Guru)!
The Blu-ray 3D Combo Pack and Blu-ray Combo Pack include a Blu-ray, DVD and DIGITAL HD with UltraViolet.
·         Blu-ray unleashes the power of your HDTV and is the best way to watch movies at home, featuring 6X the picture resolution of DVD, exclusive extras and theater-quality surround sound.
·         DVD offers the flexibility and convenience of playing movies in more places, both at home and away.
·         DIGITAL HD with UltraViolet lets fans watch movies anywhere on their favorite devices. Users can instantly stream or download movies to watch on iPad®, iPhone®, Android™, smart TVs, connected Blu-ray players, game consoles, and more.
EXCLUSIVE BONUS FEATURES ON BLU-RAY 3D & BLU-RAY:
·         DELETED SCENES – Check out Surly, Grayson and the gang in scenes removed from the final version of the movie.
·         STORYBOARDS – Watch key scenes from the film brought to life from the original sketches.
·         THE GREAT NUT HEIST – Will Arnett, the voice of Surly the squirrel, discusses the great caper story at the heart of the film.
·         DANCE-OFF END CREDITS – Surly joins his furry friends and a very special guest for this show-stopping number.
BONUS FEATURES ON 3D BLU-RAY, BLU-RAY & DVD:
·         ANIMATED SHORTS –
o   SURELY SQUIRREL – Meet Surly for the very first time in the award-winning animated short that started it all.
o   NUTS & ROBBERS – Surly and Grayson stumble upon a bank heist gone wrong in NUTS & ROBBERS – created by ToonBox Entertainment as a teaser for THE NUT JOB.
 
CAST AND FILMMAKERS:
Cast: Will Arnett, Brendan Fraser, Liam Neeson, Katherine Heigl, Stephen Lang, Maya Rudolph, Jeff Dunham with Gabriel Iglesias & Sarah Gadon
Directed by: Peter Lepeniotis
Produced by: Wookyung Jung & Graham Moloy
Executive Producers: Daniel Woo, Hong Kim, Jay Ahn, Mike Karz, William Bindley, Hoejin Ha, Tom Yoon, & Hyungkon Kim
Written by: Peter Lepeniotis & Lorne Cameron
Screenplay by: Peter Lepeniotis & Daniel Woo
Edited by: Paul Hunter
Original Score By: Paul Intson
Art Director: Ian Hastings
CG Supervisor: Brad Falk
Animation Director: Daryl Graham
Lighting Supervisor: Sumit Suri
Music Supervisor: Julianne Jordan
Music by: Paul Intson
Casting Directors: Robert McGee, Ruth Lambert & Joanne Boreham
TECHNICAL INFORMATION – BLU-RAY 3D COMBO PACK
Street Date: April 15, 2014
Copyright: 2014 Universal Studios. All Rights Reserved.
Selection Numbers: 61128666
Running Time: 1 Hour 26 Minutes
Layers: BD-50
Aspect Ratio: Widescreen 1.85:1
Rating: PG for some mild action and rude humor.
Technical Info: DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 (English)
Subtitles: English SDH, Spanish and French
TECHNICAL INFORMATION – BLU-RAY:
Street Date: April 15, 2014
Copyright: 2014 Universal Studios. All Rights Reserved.
Selection Numbers: 61127754
Running Time: 1 Hour 26 Minutes
Layers: BD-50
Aspect Ratio: Widescreen 1.85:1
Rating: PG for some mild action and rude humor.
Technical Info: DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 (English)
Subtitles: English SDH, Spanish and French
 
TECHNICAL INFORMATION – DVD:
Street Date: April 15, 2014
Copyright: 2014 Universal Studios. All Rights Reserved.
Selection Numbers: 61127752
Running Time:  1 Hour 26 Minutes
Layers: Dual Layer
Aspect Ratio: Anamorphic Widescreen 1.85:1
Rating: PG for some mild action and rude humor.
Technical Info: Dolby Digital 5.1 (English)
Subtitles: English SDH, Spanish and French

McKay to take on Paramount Pictures and Plan B’s ‘The Big Short’ from Acclaimed Writer Michael Lewis

 

Paramount Pictures and Plan B announced that writer / director Adam McKay has come aboard to adapt and direct “The Big Short,” based on the acclaimed book by Michael Lewis.

Based on Lewis’ best-seller The Big Short: Inside The Doomsday Machine about the housing and credit bubble of the 2000s, the film will be produced by Paramount and Brad Pitt’s Plan B. Pitt previously starred in and produced Lewis’ Moneyball, which earned an Academy Award-nomination for Best Picture.

“Michael Lewis has the amazing ability to take complex formulas and concepts and turn them into page turners. Plan B and I connected over that breathless quality the book has. Very excited to jump into this,” said McKay.

Said Adam Goodman, Paramount Film Group President, “I am so excited as this project marks my third collaboration with Adam McKay – a tremendously talented filmmaker and one of my favorite storytellers.”

Said Plan B, “There are those rare literary treasures – as with “The Big Short” – that park in the harbor and you just wait, with hope. Adam McKay is a singular voice and talent and a ferocious mind – the vector of Adam and this book is what a producer dreams of.”

McKay most recently co-wrote, produced and directed the sequel Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues, for Paramount Pictures. The hit film has grossed over $170m globally.

Movie Review: ‘Night of the Comet’

 

By Stacey Longo

nightofthecomet

Night of the Comet (1984) must have made its debut on VHS around 1985, coincidentally, the same summer that my family first got cable. Having subsequently watched it approximately 55 times on HBO (it was a movie! On television!), imagine my surprise when I found out that not everyone has seen this horror/sci-fi classic. Boy, are you missing out!

Sisters Reggie and Sam Belmont (Catherine Mary Stewart and Kelli Maroney, respectively) find themselves in a strangely empty world the day after the Earth has passed through the tail of an extraordinary red comet. Even more amazing is the fact that these sisters didn’t manage to survive the night together, but each on their own: Reggie by fooling around with her boyfriend in a steel-lined projectionist booth at the theater where she works, and Sam was in a steel-lined shed after fighting with her stepmother. The odds of two siblings both individually surviving a cosmic event that wiped out 99% of the population is about as likely as a huge cosmic event wiping out 99% of the population, but put your skepticism aside. Plenty more will happen to test the limits of your suspension of disbelief.

While the idea of tooling around the neighborhood now that humanity is mostly dead is overall pretty appealing, the two sisters quickly figure out that not quite everybody is dead. There’s a rabid zombie or two running around, and the sisters are at the top of the menu. They hear another survivor broadcasting over the radio, and head to the station, where they find Erik Estrada-lookalike Hector Gomez (Robert Beltran). Since everybody knows that the only thing to do after a mass extinction event is to find someone of the opposite sex to begin repopulation of the Earth with, it seems that things are looking up for the sisters. They decide to celebrate by going shopping.

Anyone who has ever watched a zombie apocalypse movie could’ve told Reggie and Sam that the worst place to go is the mall, but the sisters are a pretty clueless pair. To nobody’s surprise except Reggie and Sam’s, there’s a group of zombies there, and they barely make it out alive, and even then, only with the help of the government. Guess what? The government agents are baddies, too, and once again, the sisters are in trouble. Hector shows up to save the day, rescue the girls, and rescue a couple of little kids who were also being held by the big bad government. In the final scene, the zombies have died off, and an attractive young stud driving a sports car nearly runs Sam over as she crosses the street. Hooray! Now both of the sisters have boyfriends!

Cheesy, silly, and setting back women’s rights for decades to come, Night of the Comet is a fun glimpse at what used to pass for quality entertainment. The hairdos, outfits, and attitudes are all a tribute to times gone by, and you’ll find yourself missing those simpler days. Or not. At the very least, you’ll remember your Aqua Net and legwarmers fondly.

The new poster for ‘Maleficent’

Maleficent

Follow Maleficent on Twitter: @Maleficent for more news. According to the press release, “something big is coming.”

Maleficent will be released in theaters may 30.

Movie Review: ‘Scream Blacula Scream’

 

By Stacey Longo

Scream Blacula Scream

Billed as a Pam Grier vehicle, Scream Blacula Scream (1973) probably had no intention of being as preposterous as it was. The story revolves around Prince Mamuwalde (William Marshall), also known as Blacula himself, revived from the dead by Willis Daniels (Richard Lawson), via voodoo magic. Blacula repays the favor by immediately turning Willis into a vampire and setting about his true agenda: finding a woman to fall in love with, antagonizing the cops, and making a whole bunch more vampires. He raises the suspicions of local ex-police officer Justin Carter (Don Mitchell), who ultimately hunts down and (spoiler alert!) with the help of voodoo princess Lisa Fortier (the aforementioned Grier), kills Blacula.

What makes this movie a trashterpiece is it’s unintentional hilarity, mostly due to the dated “jive talk” and the tendency, apparently, for African-American vampires to grow an unruly mass of hair on their face once they turn. Blacula sports two lightning-bolt sideburns that slash across his cheeks when he’s hunting; his apprentice, Willis, sprouts eyebrows resembling two wooly caterpillars mating in a briar patch. With references to ‘bread,’ ‘rags,’ and ‘dudes,’ the slang is dated and entertaining.

Grier is underutilized for the first twenty minutes or so, but hang in there: when she finally gets into the action, you’ll remember why she gets so much respect. She’s smokin’ hot and coolly confident. Yet she loses credibility points when she doesn’t recognize Blacula as Professor Mamuwalde at first, which is ridiculous. The only difference in his appearance is the rabid facial hair and a new, super-groovy black cape. Luckily for her, Blacula is immediately smitten, and he puts her under his protection against his rapidly growing clan of bloodsuckers.

Unfortunately for Blacula, Grier’s Lisa is already dating Justin Carter, and he doesn’t like the latest turn of events. However, a lousier shot with a crossbow you’ve never seen, and it’s up to Lisa to save the day.

Noteworthy in this flick, besides Ms. Grier, is William Marshall in the title role. His larger-than-life presence and baritone voice commands attention, and you’ll cheer when he announces not once, but twice: “The name is Blaa-cu-laa!” In a sea of porn mustaches and fabulous afros, Scream Blacula Scream is absolutely worth viewing. You dig?

Jamie Foxx Joins His Co-Stars of ‘The Amazing Spider-man 2’ and Earth Hour Super Heroes in Blue Revolution

 

Jamie Foxx, who plays the villain, Electro, in the highly anticipated motion picture The Amazing Spider-Man 2, will be joining his co-stars, Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone, in calling on a global community to take simple action online to protect the planet.

 

As part of Earth Hour Blue, the revolutionary program launched by WWF’s Earth Hour, Foxx will support ‘Light Up A Village,’ a clean energy project from WWF-Uganda. The Amazing Spider-Man 2 actor is urging participants to go online and contribute funds to the ‘Light Up a Village’ crowdfunding project, which will provide solar lights and energy efficient mud stoves to families living around an area in Uganda that has come to be known as the “Earth Hour Forest.” Through the simple steps of supporting these vulnerable communities, the project aims to empower the locals to become the future protectors of the soon to be rehabilitated forest area.

Foxx was inspired by a passionate video from a small community of Super Heroes in Uganda who came together to show how the project could protect the newly planted trees by meeting the basic energy needs of the locals. The video explains how just one energy efficient mud stove can save up to 33 trees from being cut down annually and also save money by reducing a family’s expenses on firewood and charcoal.

“Earth Hour isn’t just about lights off – it’s about people across the world coming together throughout the year to join forces to improve the planet. If you haven’t yet, you need to get involved. Never underestimate your power. Never underestimate what you can do,” said Foxx.

In conjunction with the Earth Hour 2014 celebrations in Uganda, one million trees will be planted across the country by youths over the next year, with the majority earmarked to help fill the 2700 hectares of land marked out for the Earth Hour Forest initiative.

Another global solution-driven crowdfunding project on Earth Hour Blue for people to back is a Colombian conservation project for The Amazon that aims to protect endangered species like the jaguar, Andean bear, and the pink river dolphin, and work with indigenous communities to use and restore natural resources in a responsible way.

The crowdfunding project from WWF-Colombia, called “Lights OFF AmazON,” allows you to invest in the largest ecosystem and air, water and life producer on the planet by raising funds to implement infrastructure for sustainable industries for indigenous communities. Known as the “world’s lungs,” the Amazon is quickly disappearing with mining and ranching causing loss of species and pollution in the area.

Earth Hour in Australia has today launched a report, ‘Lights Out for the Reef,’ that highlights the latest scientific findings about climate change impacts on the Great Barrier Reef. The report confirms that urgent action to cut carbon pollution is needed for the sake of the reef’s survival.

“If we don’t act now, the effects of climate change on the Great Barrier Reef will be irreversible in a little more than a decade,” said Professor Ove Hoegh-Guldberg, one of the world’s leading experts on the Reef and author of the Oceans Chapter of the upcoming U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change report.

The easiest thing you can do on the Earth Hour Blue platform is to give support via a quick social post to Instagram for Australia’s Great Barrier Reef. The Reef is under threat due to climate change and the recently approved government decision to develop a mega coal and gas port that would cause dredging and dumping of millions of tonnes of seabed and rock in its Marine Park.

Andy Ridley, CEO and Co-Founder for Earth Hour, announced today, “What we’re seeing is a massive group of Super Heroes around the world who are calling on support for incredible campaigns to address the environmental issues we’re facing in our daily lives. That’s why we built Earth Hour and Earth Hour Blue, so now it’s up to you to help bring together this global momentum to show what can be achieved when we use our power together.”

Earth Hour event activities will be amplified on islands across the world, with music becoming a major focus to inspire environmental action in the places on the forefront of climate change and sea level rise. Reggae artists in Jamaica will perform an acoustic concert for the second year running; and in Tahiti, 5000 people will gain entry to a massive acoustic concert at Stade Paster by handing in a piece of recyclable waste they’ve collected to avoid landfill.

Following the recent announcement that Spider-Man is the first Super Hero ambassador for Earth Hour, the global movement organised by WWF, the cast of The Amazing Spider-Man 2 will be on hand to help to switch off the lights across Singapore’s signature Marina Bay skyline on Saturday March 29, at 8.30 p.m. as part of WWF-Singapore’s flagship Earth Hour event.

Expanding on many sustainability efforts over the years, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 became the most eco-friendly tentpole production in the history of Columbia Pictures. These environmental efforts, on set and off, were supported at every level – from producers, studio executives, and cast and crew and began as soon as the film went into pre-production.

“I’m very proud of the fact that The Amazing Spider-Man 2 is entirely carbon-neutral. We made a commitment to be as eco-conscious as possible during production itself, when we took a special effort to think green and avoid waste; now, completing that process with Earth Hour Blue is a wonderful testament to what we can achieve when we all work together,” says Jeff Blake, Chairman, Worldwide Marketing and Distribution, Sony Pictures Entertainment.

“Use your power at earthhour.org, so you too can become a Super Hero like Spider-Man, Earth Hour’s Super Hero ambassador,” said Foxx.

Movie Review: Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead (2006)

 

By Stacey Longo

Poultrygeist Night of the Chicken Dead

Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead is vulgar, politically incorrect, and completely unapologetic about it. The premise of this ridiculous romp is that a fried chicken franchise, American Chicken Bunker, has been built on top of a sacred Native American burial ground in Tromaville. The site is also chock full of toxic waste (this is, after all, the same town that birthed the Toxic Avenger). Our hero is Arbie (Jason Yachanin), who discovers his high school sweetheart, Wendy (portrayed by Kate Graham) has turned gay while away at college, and is now protesting the new chicken franchise in Tromaville. Arbie, in turn, gets a job at the restaurant to spite her. As Arbie sings (this movie is also a quasi-musical): “Revenge is a dish best served fried.”

Things quickly go south as patrons of the restaurant get sick and eventually turn into giant mutant chickens from eating the toxic poultry. There is one particular bathroom scene that is so disgusting, repulsive, and full of excrement, that teenage boys everywhere will be cheering.

The climax of the movie shows patrons being murdered in gratuitously gory ways including sliced to death by deli slicer, impaled by chicken nuggets, and a guy’s legs being ripped apart like a wishbone. Arbie, fellow employee Hummus, Wendy, and a random little girl are able to fight off the chickens with alcohol, but it is Hummus who sacrifices herself so the others can escape.

While silly and spoofy, this movie is entertaining, too. Highlights include a cameo by Ron Jeremy, and nods to films like Jaws, The Exorcist, and Alien. Although campy, this is also a commentary on corporate greed: how chain franchises and large corporations are putting mom-n-pop stores out of business, contributing to child obesity in the country, and basically dumbing down America. Yes, this could be a serious introspection on the heartlessness and cold greed of corporate America, if not for all of the topless girls and “choking chicken” references.