Stacey Longo Enjoys Ron Jeremy’s ‘One-Eyed Monster’

By Stacey Longo

One-eyed monsterONE-EYED MONSTER (2008, Liberation Entertainment) is the tale of an alien that comes to Earth to possess porn star Ron Jeremy’s penis and seed the Earth. If that statement didn’t make you giggle at least a little bit, then this movie might not be for you.

A delightful horror/comedy romp, this B-movie stars Amber Benson, Veronica Hart, and Charles Napier, with Ron Jeremy as himself. The film opens with a group heading off to the mountains to film an adult movie. Jeremy laments that he’s not in shape anymore, and Hart (also playing herself) is upset that she just might be too old to be in porn, despite her impressive Kegel muscles. However, these concerns take a back seat when Jeremy’s penis is possessed by an alien and detaches itself, only to set off on a murderous rampage.

The beauty of this movie is that the characters know the plotline is ridiculous. They’re stunned and incredulous that Ron Jeremy’s penis is hunting them down, one by one. The director made a wise choice in not showing the menacing member for three-quarters of the movie, which results in a heightened sense of suspense—a technique used effectively by Steven Spielberg in JAWS and replicated here.

Ron Jeremy of One-Eyed Monster.

Ron Jeremy of One-Eyed Monster. Photo by Jason Harris.

Notable performances include Jason Graham as Jonah, who is quick to accept that yes, a possessed penis is what they’re fighting here, and it’s a serious matter. Add to this Napier’s slightly crazed Vietnam vet, who has seen this kind of thing once before. His speech about the penis in ‘Nam that wiped out his whole platoon would come across as silly and trite if not for Napier’s ability to deliver it like a man who has seriously been traumatized by these events that “boot camp never prepared me for.”

Our heroes try to trap the murderous member, but their first attempt fails, and the survivors race to a radio tower to try and get help. Veronica Hart regains consciousness at this point (she’d been knocked into unconsciousness when Ron’s penis first attacked during their sex scene) and tries to catch up on the action.

Veronica: “Who’s in me?”

It is Veronica, and her fabulous Kegel muscles, that eventually save the day.

This movie is not for the faint of heart, young children, or your mother. Overall, it’s fun, chock-full of one-liners and laughs, and definitely worth watching. Check out the DVD extras for a fabulous five-minute mockumentary on the movie’s special effects for one last laugh after the film ends. ONE-EYED MONSTER is a must-see for all “so bad it’s good” movie fans.

Editor’s Note:

This review originally appeared on the Cinema Knife Fight website. You can see it by clicking here.

Pictures from Super Megafest 2013

By Jason Harris

The DeLorean

The DeLorean.

Aaron Ashmore of Smallvile.

Aaron Ashmore of Smallvile.

2013-11-23 01.11.55

DC Comics' characters

Characters from DC Comics.

From right to left: Draco and Lucius Malfoy of Harry Potter.

From right to left: Draco and Lucius Malfoy of Harry Potter.

2013-11-23 13.59.39

A Victoria Secret Angel

A Victoria Secret Angel.

2013-11-23 02.27.17

Orko from He-man and the Masters of the Universe

Orko from He-man and the Masters of the Universe.

The crowds at Super Megafest.

The crowds at Super Megafest.

2013-11-23 03.00.51

Bronson Pinchot of Perfect Stangers.

Bronson Pinchot of Perfect Stangers.

Spider-man

Spider-man.

2013-11-23 02.10.46

Rogue of The X-men.

Rogue of The X-men.

2013-11-23 07.12.09

Shredder and the Foot Clan.

Shredder and the Foot Clan.

2013-11-23 07.05.11

Ron Jeremy of One-Eyed Monster.

Ron Jeremy of One-Eyed Monster.

The Emperor, Joker, and Batman.

The Emperor, Joker, and Batman.

Tom Felton of Harry Potter.

Tom Felton of Harry Potter.

Dorothy Gale of The Wizard of Oz.

Dorothy Gale of The Wizard of Oz.

Superman and Supergirl.

Superman and Supergirl.

Eliza Dusku of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (center).

Eliza Dusku of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (center).

Spider-man.

Robert Remus a.k.a. Sgt. Slaughter.

Robert Remus a.k.a. Sgt. Slaughter.

The Tin Man and Dorothy.

The Tin Man and Dorothy.

2013-11-23 01.59.46

Vonn Ray, professional cosplayer.

Vonn Ray, professional cosplayer.

2013-11-23 04.26.08

The Evil Witch.

The Evil Witch.

Steampunk Batman.

Steampunk Batman.

2013-11-23 02.21.07

Barbie Jean Blank a.k.a. Kelly Kelly.

Barbie Jean Blank a.k.a. Kelly Kelly with a fan.

2013-11-23 01.13.05

A Jason Vorhees' candy dish.

A Jason Voorhees’ candy dish.

Batgirl and Green Arrow.

Batgirl and Green Arrow.

I Dream of Jeannie actors  Bill Daily and Barbara Eden.

I Dream of Jeannie actors Bill Daily and Barbara Eden.

Christopher Lloyd.

Christopher Lloyd.

Darth Maul.

Darth Maul.

Jack Sparrow and companion.

Jack Sparrow and companion.

Ernie Hudson.

Ernie Hudson.

Vic Mignogna

Vic Mignogna of Fullmetal Alchemist.

Super Megafest Happens this Weekend

 

New England’s Largest Multimedia Fanfest, Super Megafest,  takes place at the Sheraton Framington Hotel in Framington. This two-day convention will have celebrities from television, the movies, comics, wrestling, rock and roll and more. Here are some of the celebrities who will be at Super Megafest: Christopher Lloyd, Eliza Dusku, Ray park, Ron Jeremy, Sgt. Slaughter, Billy West, Jon Heder, and Tom Felton.

There will also be a music fest, which starts at 7: 30 p.m. Saturday.

Along with the celebrities, there will also be  a comic and collectibles room.

The convention operates from 10:30 a.m. to 6 p.m. on Saturday and 10:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. on Sunday.

Click on the links in this post for more information and ticket prices.