Stacey Longo Enjoys Ron Jeremy’s ‘One-Eyed Monster’

By Stacey Longo

One-eyed monsterONE-EYED MONSTER (2008, Liberation Entertainment) is the tale of an alien that comes to Earth to possess porn star Ron Jeremy’s penis and seed the Earth. If that statement didn’t make you giggle at least a little bit, then this movie might not be for you.

A delightful horror/comedy romp, this B-movie stars Amber Benson, Veronica Hart, and Charles Napier, with Ron Jeremy as himself. The film opens with a group heading off to the mountains to film an adult movie. Jeremy laments that he’s not in shape anymore, and Hart (also playing herself) is upset that she just might be too old to be in porn, despite her impressive Kegel muscles. However, these concerns take a back seat when Jeremy’s penis is possessed by an alien and detaches itself, only to set off on a murderous rampage.

The beauty of this movie is that the characters know the plotline is ridiculous. They’re stunned and incredulous that Ron Jeremy’s penis is hunting them down, one by one. The director made a wise choice in not showing the menacing member for three-quarters of the movie, which results in a heightened sense of suspense—a technique used effectively by Steven Spielberg in JAWS and replicated here.

Ron Jeremy of One-Eyed Monster.

Ron Jeremy of One-Eyed Monster. Photo by Jason Harris.

Notable performances include Jason Graham as Jonah, who is quick to accept that yes, a possessed penis is what they’re fighting here, and it’s a serious matter. Add to this Napier’s slightly crazed Vietnam vet, who has seen this kind of thing once before. His speech about the penis in ‘Nam that wiped out his whole platoon would come across as silly and trite if not for Napier’s ability to deliver it like a man who has seriously been traumatized by these events that “boot camp never prepared me for.”

Our heroes try to trap the murderous member, but their first attempt fails, and the survivors race to a radio tower to try and get help. Veronica Hart regains consciousness at this point (she’d been knocked into unconsciousness when Ron’s penis first attacked during their sex scene) and tries to catch up on the action.

Veronica: “Who’s in me?”

It is Veronica, and her fabulous Kegel muscles, that eventually save the day.

This movie is not for the faint of heart, young children, or your mother. Overall, it’s fun, chock-full of one-liners and laughs, and definitely worth watching. Check out the DVD extras for a fabulous five-minute mockumentary on the movie’s special effects for one last laugh after the film ends. ONE-EYED MONSTER is a must-see for all “so bad it’s good” movie fans.

Editor’s Note:

This review originally appeared on the Cinema Knife Fight website. You can see it by clicking here.

Jennifer Jostyn: From Dancing to Acting


by Jason Harris

Jennifer Jostyn. Photo by Jason Harris.

Jennifer Jostyn. Photo by Jason Harris.


Jennifer Jostyn started out dancing before becoming an actress in movies like The Brothers McMullen, Deep Impact, and House of 1000 Corpses.

“I thought I wanted to be a ballet dancer.”

Jostyn studied ballet from a young age up until she was 22 or 23. She stopped when The Brothers McMullen won at the Sundance Film Festival and her career shifted from dancing to acting.

“I tried to sort of follow where I thought I was going to get work,” Jostyn said about changing careers.

There are moments that make her feel sad. These happen when she is watching live musical theater. This is when she misses ballet.

“I will see a show and I’ll think I would have loved to have done that. I like to try to never use the word regret in my life.”

She is appreciative of the work she has gotten and for working with two directors,

Edward Burns and Rob Zombie, both of whom she considers great directors and enjoys working with them.

She first met Burns through Michael McGlone, who was a co-worker at the restaurant where she was waitressing when she was 20 years old. McGlone told her one night when it was slow that he was working on a movie with “a cool guy who lives down in the West Village.”

McGlone also told her that Burns had no money, but was going to make something interesting. She received the role of Leslie 20 minutes after meeting with Burns. She spent the next couple of weekends going out to Burns parents’ house to shoot the movie.

She worked with Rob Zombie on House of 1000 Corpses. She didn’t realize at the time of her audition how big a deal it was being in a Rob Zombie movie.

Jostyn has also worked in television. She prefers movies, though, since she gets a little more time and freedom to play around with the role.

“Television shows usually happen pretty quickly, and there’s a lot of pressure to get it done quickly. You’re on a different kind of schedule.”

Her first starring role was in Milo, which she received two days before the film started shooting. She was first scheduled to play a much smaller role until she received the lead after being called into the director’s office. This happened on the day she had come to the production offices for a wardrobe fitting.

“I really loved that role and was excited to be able to go through the whole course of a 90 minute film. I’d never done that before.”

Jostyn is drawn to acting because she likes everything about it and being around creative people.

“I find it very exciting to watch great minds like Rob [Zombie] and Eddie [Burns] and other people I have had the pleasure to work with. I think they’re so smart and interesting and unique … I just wanted to be near it. I really don’t care in what capacity. It’s exciting to me to get to pretend to be different people. I can’t imagine who wouldn’t want to do that.”

Along with acting, Jostyn has also written and produced a movie, The Life Coach, back in 2005. She describes it as a mockumentary in the vein of a Christopher Guest movie, and it’s about a Hollywood life coach to the stars.